How I have been feeling

Wow! Today started off so slow and with me being so tired and ready to go back to sleep. Then on my way to work this morning I was listening to K-Love (as usual) and this morning when Lisa was talking and the songs that were played this morning and the phone call of the lady who had moved and how her church helped her and her children out....just really opened me up wide awake this morning. Yesterday at church I prayed at my seat (instead of getting up to the stage) and just prayed for Jesus to pull me back in to him. The past few weeks I don't know what it is. If it's with me being overloaded or what but I feel that something has changed in me. Feeling pulled away to my full cup I get on Sundays. Pulled away from eager to learn and know more of the bible. I just prayed that he help me get back to that. To pull me back into him the way I was all year til these past few weeks. I can't tell you what happened or how it got like this. I am still connected to him but not the way I felt a few weeks ago and I want that back. I still get full of emotion when I sing our church songs, K-Love songs and even when I hear peoples stories. So I know I am not vanished because I still have him in my heart. I have to say this so you understand. When I was a little girl I went to church all the time. As I grew up I was in Sunday school and Youth Fellowship (YF). Then later in life I stop going to church. I would visit my grandpa and attend his church but would never sing the songs. Til last year I started going to church thanks to a friend in Ohio who talked to me and incouraged me to go and it has changed my life. I know I am a different person but not who I want to be yet. I have became a member of my church last month on the 14th of Feb. I just have a small grey cloud over me that is blocking what I fully had a few weeks ago.