Long time not blogging huh

Been awhile since I got on and posted a blog. Gosh where do I start. so much has happened and so many changes in my life.

Well my son had Kindergarten round up at the end of March and he had a blast. He turned 5 on April 6th and had his party last weekend. It was a awesome turn out of my baby boy. Monday he goes for his Kindergarten screening. What fun will that be for him.

My oldest daughter is growing up to darn fast. He already acts like a teenager. She will be 8 in May. Ahh what is a mom to do.

My middle child my other daughter is really been expressing herself.
In many ways....whinning, screaming, not listening, loving, caring, huging u and telling u she loves u, being bossy and so much more.

Work humm yes this is a hard one. This week alone has been the worse. Monday we finally find out who our new division director is. We have 13 people in our whole section. Many here for over 25+ years. We all are so shaken inside, feel sick to our tums, want to scream, cry, all the emotions you can think of we all want to do even the one's u never expected to want to do that. I don't think no one is ready for changes or likes major changes. I have been such a mess I took my girls to BK last night for dinner and instead of handing the lady my card I handed her a piece of paper. And I went on with my business in my van like giving the girls there drinks. Then it hit me...Why am I holding my card and I look back at the lady and she just smiled and I was like OH MY GOSH, I am so sorry it has been a crazy crazy day more a crazy week. She just laughed with me or maybe at me. I even had another one at the PO. This whole change has really took me for a spin. So far my current schedule I have going on right now is okay but future no more make up for nothing. Well I should say that is going to hurt me and the rest of us 12 people we all do it. Like our 30 or 1 to 2 hour we like to make up. It really sucks. She said I can ask her but she don't like it but she also said "doesn't mean I will say no either". Okay I'm confused. She says no more make up time in the future. But it doesn't hurt to ask but she don't like it but doesn't mean she will say no. O.K. Just a lot of changes and we are all walking on egg shells or more like not to know what to expect. We all know her she came from upstairs in another division she did accoutning. But we don't get why they gave her the position cause she don't know nothing of what we will do. I know she will learn but there is so much to learn and I am sure she will still be learning at 3years from now. Lots to learn. Just trying my best to take it all in and be positive the best that I can be.

Children

My little guy will be 5 in 1 month and starting kindergarten in August. My oldest will be 8 in 2 months. My middle child is 6. My babies are going up so fast. Right before my very eyes.

Sometimes I wish I can be with them every single moment to watch what they are learning and see them growing.

Despite how you feel you need a break or them fighting with one another. You have to block that part out. Talking about there little bodies growing up with out you there. I am a working mom that works 40 hours a week. I drive over 30 minutes to get home. We are so busy in our every day life you just get tired and want to rest. Til it hits you...WOW my children are at daycare or school majority of the time. I am at work majority of the time. Your children are actually growing up and doing things you miss with out you there. Most parent have this happening to them. I would love to be a stay at home mom but also I would go crazy being in the house all the time. I love to work. I can't imagine not working. I guess this is a part of life.

Can you remember back when they were babies and how every week and every minute and every second of the day they change. Each child I had I would say okay I feel like I missed this with this child so I am going to watch my baby and not miss a thing. Just watch them grow and watch them change and do new things. You take it all in and remember those special moments. Then as they get older you still feel you missed something.

But you did and you didn't. I was lucky and got to take my last two babies to work with me til they were 6 months. Despite that you still miss out on little things. You turn your head for one second and you miss out on it. There is nothing we can do. Nothing I can do to make it stop or to make it to where I can see every little thing.

As parents, it's just a part of life. I feels just like yesterday they were little tiny babies in my arms. I still wish sometimes they were still little but at the same times you feel excitement of what it will be like and how they will change as they get older. It's also scary.

How time flies around us. Have heard the saying ...Cleaning and scrubbing can wait until tomorrow, because babies grow up, I've learned to my sorrow. So hush-a-bye cobwebs, dust, go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep! Or maybe you heard it this way....I hope that my child, looking back on today,
remembers a mother who had time to play. Children grow up when you're not looking,there will be years ahead for cleaning and cooking. So hush now cobwebs, dust - go to sleep I'm rocking my baby cos babies don't keep.

I believe I have this one on my wall with a little child and toys all over saying....

Hand prints

With Love

I am so very small and
my fingerprints so large,
that you sometimes get
discouraged when I
leave them on the walls.

All those messy prints,
when I am grown someday,
will only be a memory that
has been washed away.

So here's a set of prints,
to help you to recall,
just how those hands looked
when they were very small.

I know you get discouraged
Because I am so small
And always leave my fingerprints
On furniture and walls.

But everyday I'm growing,
I'll be all grown up someday,
And all the smudgies that I did
Will surely fade away.

So here's another bunch of them
Just so you can recall
Exactly how my fingers looked
When I was very small.


This I have in my living room.

There are so many out there. That can say what we feel. We just have to deal with the fact they grow up and we need to take the time to be with them while we can because soon someday they will be gone.

Gone as little children. But grown into adults. But still our little babies in our hearts.

There is so much to say on this so I am going to leave it like this.

I know my schedule is busy so my busy runs will be done and in between them I will spend my time with my babies and enjoy every moment I have with them. Clean the house as I go when I am playing with them and the bigger mess for when they are sleeping. So I don't miss out on the most important part of my children's life's.

In our busy life's around us seem to get us off balance of what is most important to us...Our children. Stop and spend time with them. Play with them, just sit back and watch them as they go and when there little faces look up at you smile and capture the memories that are given to us. When they sleep go in and take a sneak peek of them and whisper to them "Mommy loves you my sweet baby girl/boy" Remember the house mess can wait the busy runs you have to do can wait. Enjoy the moment we have with our children and capture the memories that are given to us.

Last night

Last night was fun. Later in the evening my son who was wild and crazy cause he has been the only kid was just wild as ever last night. Later he comes to me and his little butt sticky out and legs apart a bit but not much and he is walking in so slowing and cautiously and says in this soft little voice "mommy, I pooped my pants. I just didn't get there in time and it just squeezed out" As he is saying this he is about the cry. He never has accidents and so I think this took him by surprise. LOL.

I told him to go tell daddy and he said he did so oh mommy gets to clean it up what fun. :] Not. About to gag from the smell daddy is laughing and then Augustus is laughing and tell them it's not funny. (They were laughing at me making gagging sounds) Then daddy says "Just put them in the shower and I will clean them off." I wanted to know who was going to clean the little monster. But I took care of that. But it was so cute when he walked into the bedroom with his little sad face telling me he pooped his pants. He just didn't know what to do.

Later that night my grandpa called. I got to talk to Maisie. I miss her so much already and this is Monday night. :( She talked to me for a few seconds and then wanted to talk to her brother. NICE. Guess she don't miss me that much. LOL Augustus gets on the phone and talks to her and then says "hey Maisie can I talk to great grandpa please" so grandpa gets on the phone. Augustus is talking away to great grandpa and then he says "so how is Maisie doing? That is good." Then I think that great grandpa ask him how he is doing cause then he says "I am doing great and you?" It was the cutest thing.

Like one day we were heading to church and he stopped going for awhile due to major behavior issues and he came to me the night before and said "My brain says I can go to church now." I said "Oh well that is good, glad to know your brain said it's okay." LOL kids say the funniest things.

Do you ever get the feeling or just wish....

Do you ever get the feeling you just want to stay in bed and pull the covers over your head and never get up?

Wish someone would just take over your responsibilities for a day or two?

Sometimes I wish I could just sit back and do nothing. Don't run the kids to there activities and have daddy do it.

Feed the kids, make sure they shower, brush their teeth, do there homework and help them with homework. Clean the house. Do the things I do every single day of my life.

I know as a mom that is your responsibility. As a mom you choose to put them in the activities with them saying they want to do it.

But just some times I get tired and just want a break.

You take the lead, you take charge and do it all and let me rest.

He wonders why I am so tired all the time and wonder why I fall asleep with in 15 to 30 minutes of hitting the bed.

Just once let me sit down and relax on the weekends with out playing referee between the kids. Take over cleaning up the house or the dishes that has been sitting there. Cause you think "Oh she has been doing it when it piles up so lets not help and give her a break cause gosh most of them are hers or the kids." Not saying he needs to do it, it's also part of the girls chores.

How about coming into work on a Monday morning ready to walk right back out the door cause the mood of the co-workers around you hit you like a brick wall in the face. Or Monday mornings you are NOT in the mood to talk to anyone about anything and someone comes into your office and is all perky and smiling and you are just not feeling the excitment that they may be having going through there chirpy little bodies. Not ready to want to talk about anything over the weekend. Regardless if it was good or not just not wanting to talk. Just want to be left alone. Well that was me this morning.

Somedays I wish it was so calm and peaceful. Or better yet help me get into the mood with others around me.

Today 3/15

This week will be a very different week then my normal weeks.
My middle child little miss Maisie is with great grandpa this week since she is also out for spring break.

My oldest is with her grandpa. But will come home tonight and possibly Wednesday cause of there work schedule this week.

My little boy is with us. But we are making it fun for him.

So no tutoring, this week but tonight for Augustus. No church children's choir and not dance this week.

I get a little break. :)

K-Love's Encouraging Word

Encouraging Word
Monday 3/15/2010

A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered.
~ Proverbs 17:27, NLT

How I have been feeling

Wow! Today started off so slow and with me being so tired and ready to go back to sleep. Then on my way to work this morning I was listening to K-Love (as usual) and this morning when Lisa was talking and the songs that were played this morning and the phone call of the lady who had moved and how her church helped her and her children out....just really opened me up wide awake this morning. Yesterday at church I prayed at my seat (instead of getting up to the stage) and just prayed for Jesus to pull me back in to him. The past few weeks I don't know what it is. If it's with me being overloaded or what but I feel that something has changed in me. Feeling pulled away to my full cup I get on Sundays. Pulled away from eager to learn and know more of the bible. I just prayed that he help me get back to that. To pull me back into him the way I was all year til these past few weeks. I can't tell you what happened or how it got like this. I am still connected to him but not the way I felt a few weeks ago and I want that back. I still get full of emotion when I sing our church songs, K-Love songs and even when I hear peoples stories. So I know I am not vanished because I still have him in my heart. I have to say this so you understand. When I was a little girl I went to church all the time. As I grew up I was in Sunday school and Youth Fellowship (YF). Then later in life I stop going to church. I would visit my grandpa and attend his church but would never sing the songs. Til last year I started going to church thanks to a friend in Ohio who talked to me and incouraged me to go and it has changed my life. I know I am a different person but not who I want to be yet. I have became a member of my church last month on the 14th of Feb. I just have a small grey cloud over me that is blocking what I fully had a few weeks ago.